Why do I try to feel like I am 12 inside, when I am 16?

You sound very mature for your age even of 16 and you certainly sound intelligent. You have done a lot of personal introspection. Perhaps getting out of yourself and using your empathy to help others would in turn help you. On the other hand, I am 54 and feel 18 most of the time! LOL...in seriousness, age is of the body, the maturity level is a state of mind. You are only as old, or as young as you feel. Also, the traumas you have been through can keep you stuck. PS: Stop taking responsibility for your siblings and if necessary report your parents. You are not responsible, you are only responsible for you. God loves your siblings MORE, much more, than you do and will not let them be hurt permanently as you think. I am praying for all of you. PPS Alcoholics Anonymous has an interesting solution for people whom we resent: Pray for them to have every blessing we wish for ourselves. Pray for them every day for a minimum of 2 weeks. Pray even if you hate them and don't mean it a bit. It is amazing what happens!